Lost in Thoughts…

April 2, 2008

“You are not allowed”

Filed under: General — Confused Desi @ 2:17 am

Why are Indian parents so unreasonable? They give you everything and then act as the most controlling and conservative ppl in the world. They act as if I am their property and they own me in some way.

I told my mum I am planning to go on holiday with friends and she told me take Permission from my dad. That was freaking annoying but I just let it slide and told her that I will speak with him, she goes in her normal angry mode “what do you mean speak with him? Ask him” , Ok I will ask him. “But he will say no”, That got me so annoyed so I asked her is that because you will say no, and she says yes I “you guys don’t understand anything, there are reasons. You can only go if you go with us or after you get married”.

I know her reasons, so that she can tell the world that her daughter is perfect angle, and so that I can be married off to some overly-fat-totally-useless-very-ugly-guy who does no work and orders me around, who has to be Indian. She does it all the time, comes up with weird stuff, “Get a tattoo after you get married”, “You can make these kind of friends after you get married”. Its like my life will begin after I get married, till then they are gonna put me in a glass cage.

Is it really that important? Don’t I have a choice? I think this is another reason why I am off Indian guys. They are brought up with the expectation that your wife will do everything for you; you will have full control of her life; you can abuse her and she wont leave you; and you don’t even have to attempt to be nice, and after all that you will have the right to complain that your life is not what you expected it to be.

I am so freaking annoyed, I don’t know what to do!



  1. LOL, sorry, I mean I know this is a post about your annoyance but the way you put it is hilarious, I was laughing midway reading the post 😛

    I’m looking forward to your next post: “14 Things I’ll Do After I Get Married”…

    Comment by rayfd — April 6, 2008 @ 2:51 am | Reply

  2. It’s actually “50+ Things I’ll Do After I Get Married”, The list keeps growing so might take some time to publish it! 😛

    Comment by Confused Desi — April 7, 2008 @ 6:28 am | Reply

  3. Well thats what you get for being born Brown (synonymous with unlucky). I am a guy and I can’t understand your feelings but I can assure you this that not every brown guy will treat you as his property, abuse you or whatever. But it is up to you to marry this kind of guy, you have to make the right decision. If your parents are making you meet or marry some jerk, simply say no and move on, keep on resisting their decision until you feel right about the guy or whatever. Not all brown guys are fat, ugly and controlling!

    Comment by Brown guy — July 14, 2008 @ 7:19 pm | Reply

  4. my mom is IDENTICAL TO YOURS. OH MY GOD. she just told me EXACTLY when im getting married (once you’re working on your phd) and that i MUST marry an indian boy because “indians have the same values as us.” and preferably a boy FROM india. yeah right! OH and she told me “you can only drink alcohol after you get married and only IF your partner allows you.” …………….

    Comment by feeling the pain — December 19, 2008 @ 12:33 am | Reply

    • Hehe, it will get better. My mum is being very understanding these days, especially since she has accepted my chinese kiwi bf. I think it requires a lot of talking and keeping her happy but its worth it. Hopefully, things will get better for you too 🙂

      Comment by Confused Desi — December 30, 2008 @ 9:51 am | Reply

  5. I don’t know where you’re from or what your situation is entirely, but I can tell from your accent that what I’m about to say may not get across very well. Please take this with a grain of salt. I do hope you’ve considered your parents’ situation properly before trying anything I suggest.

    My best advice is to confront your mother about her “reasons” in the most chilling and cruel way possible. Drop the bomb on her when she least expects it. Your situation is not going to improve without conflict. Stop giving your parents the luxury of avoiding that conflict either. I’d suggest using a very calm tone of voice completely unbefitting the heat of the situation when you say something to the effect of “Oh, I understand. Because you don’t want me fucking someone you don’t approve of” and just watch her jaw drop. For a while, everything will be a mess and you will be labelled many terrible things. But if you’re willing to put yourself through it, you will come out the other end a better person with a better life.

    Also, DO NOT generalize your judgement of Indian guys so easily – I, for one have evolved past all that bullshit and any man I can call a true friend has, too. I’m never so sure about my peers back home though…

    Comment by TheresAlwaysHope — July 19, 2009 @ 11:21 am | Reply

    • Hey,

      Thanks for your advice and time to read my rant; Things have actually changed since this post. Luckily without any conflict. Everything is quite great now : )
      Hope things work out for you as well.

      Comment by Confused Desi — July 20, 2009 @ 3:29 am | Reply

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